Plowed, Yes, but also Pulverized, Punished and Pounded
2003-12-15: Mighty Pirates 2 vs. Slowetry in Motion 8

The Mighty Pirates website said it all on the Tuesday morning after your erstwhile heroes faced Slowetry in Motion - a monstrous plough slicing inexorably through a yielding prarie wheatfield. After the game, there were no excuses, no what-ifs, no if onlys - just the realization that there was not much that would have changed the outcome that night. The score, a humiliating 8-2 thrashing, was convincing even to those who wanted to see only the bright side. Gone were the hints that the 3-3 tie that the Pirates earned in their first meeting with the Slo-Mos was a prelude to the dethroning of the first place team that was to come. To all observers, it was clear that it would take a much more disciplined, much more aggressive, much less error-prone Mighty Pirates squad to give those guys with the "Yield" signs on their jerseys a run for their money.

No, it was not pretty, not pretty at all. Not that the Pirates did not try, but at every turn, the fates seemed to conspire against them. With Matthew Lella, the Pirates' stalwart goal-keeper sidelined for one game due to (What? Did I hear right?) "escort service duties," the Pirates were elated to sign the Summer Pirates' own super-star goalie, Tim "Super-Sturgeon" Sturgeon to stand between the pipes for the game. And was Big Tim excited about playing for the senior club? You bet! He left his house one and one half hours before game time, only to find himself stopping imaginary shots from the point while stuck in "Park" on Highway 401, arriving at RINX only seconds before the puck was dropped! Despite the kind efforts of the refs to try and delay the game as much as possible to help out the hapless Pirates, almost 3-1/2 minutes had ticked off the clock before Sturgeon finally was able to take his place in front of the Pirates' net. By this time, the Slow Ones had potted two freebies.

But I get ahead of myself. While Sturgeon was delayed getting to the game, the regular Pirates miraculously managed to all get to the rink on time, and were in the enviable position of being able to put out three full forward lines and three full defensive pairs. The lines were familiar to all loyal followers of the gold and black: Jim Jezioranski centering Nick Perri and Dave Turner; Rob Kwinter centering Auby Mandell and Mark Sager; John Mutch centering Shaun Leggett and Les Klein. Defencemen were Richard Bingham, Jonathan Gallivan, Peter Toth, Blair Dimock, Kapil Khatter and Brian Vandenberg - a formidable team by any standard.

And wow! Things got off to a wonderful start. Despite the lack of a goalie (or maybe because of the extra focus that such a situation requires), the Pirates were able to control the puck for a considerable portion of those fateful first five minutes. And with just 37 seconds elapsed, Jim Jezioranski found himself accompanied into the Slo-Mo end by charging defenceman Richard Bingham, who picked up the rebound from a booming JJ shot and potted into the net behind a confused SiM goalie. Alas, the euphoria would be short-lived, as just 25 seconds later, TNHC Monday Canadian Division #2 scorer Dion Lew took a pass from leading scorer J.D. Rodway and #10 scorer Phil Halvorson to score in the empty Pirate net, a feat which Rodway repeated 50 seconds later. Alas, Tim Sturgeon's appearance in net did not stop the onslaught, as Dion Lew took a pass from J.D. Rodway 1:50 later and put it past the Pirate keeper, who was still getting his blocker on. As if that wasn't enough, #5 scorer Norman Lew scored again 1:05 later, and by the end of the first period, the Pirates were already down 4-1.

The second period was, alas, not much better. Three and a half minutes in, Dion Lew took off on a breakaway and popped another one, despite extraordinary back-checking by the defensive pair. But Pirate hard work and perseverance paid off, when Rob Kwinter, working hard in front of the net, pushed through a goal (called but later questioned by the ref who called it!) that had previously tried to go through off the stick of Auby Mandell and previous to that shot from the point by Kapil Khatter. That made the score 5-2, but the Pirates dared to hope for a few moments that the tide had turned. That lasted until the clock had ticked down to one second left in the period, when a new Sim name appeared on the score sheet, and the buzzer sounded on a 6-2 score after two.

The two teams played to a draw for ten and a half minutes of the third, but the SloMos made it clear that any lowering of the Pirates' guard would prove costly, as they managed to score twice more in the dying two minutes of the game. 8-2! Egads! Gadzooks! Good grief!

So, for now, let's leave the Buccaneers to wallow in their sorrow, and pick them up next Monday night at 11:15, when they face the Goldmembers for their third meeting of the season. While the Wednesday Night Pirate Skate™ is suspended until January 7 in the new year, the Pirates continue their regular season each and every week. Much will ride on who will show up to play, and how good their mental preparation is. And if you thought Slowetry in Motion was mean to your heroes, just wait until you see the Mike Myers wanna-bes, who have already taken the Pirates to the woodshed twice, 1-6 and 0-6. This next meeting will be one just to save face, and if by chance the Pirates can actually eke out a W, it will be all for the better. The key? Win every shift, keep minds focused on the game and not the score, and play each second as though the score was 0-1. We can do this, as long as we play our game. So, y'all,

GO PIRATES!!! VIVA LOS PIRATAS!!!

Howie