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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

Today's Special: Humble Pie
2005-10-17: Mighty Pirates 1 at Original Chiefs 5

There was in the Mighty Pirate locker room last night before their game against the Original Chiefs not a whiff of humility, not a speck of reality check, not a breath of thought given to the fact that the boys in yellow and black might face a worthy opponent in the upcoming contest. That out-of-touchedness with the facts was heightened by a surreal exchange with True North's tier administrator, who entered the locker room to float the trial balloon of moving the Mighty Pirates up to the next tier, in light of their first-place position in the standings and their stellar goals-for/goals-against ratio. While dismissing out of hand that possibility ("we'd get killed up there - who wants another 4-19-1 season?"), the possibility of being handed a similar fate by the Original Chiefs was not in the minds of anyone there. And when the Pirates saw the OCs come out to play with just three players on the bench, who could imagine that these guys could keep up with the vaunted Gold and Ebony Machine?

Well, guess what - they damn well could. And the first sign of trouble in the Pirates' locker room was that the defensive squad was severely depleted, with the expected absence of rookie Paul Matusek, and the continued unexplained absence of Richard Bingham. Ugly rumours have begun to circulate around the press corps that follows the Pirates throughout the season that the team may be suffering from a bizarre communal hallucination in their ongoing belief in Bingham's existence. Other possibilities that have been floated include the insidious circus fever, some shady business dealings that may have gone awry, and that he is out preaching the true gospel of his trade to naive young disciples.

Nevertheless, Captain Mola, cool and calm as always (in the locker room, at least) went with his tried-and-true forward lines, combining John Mutch, Vito Mola and Auby Mandell; Jonathan Gallivan, Nick Perri and Mark Sager; and Jim Jezioranski, Shaun Leggett and Dave Turner. On defense were Mark Cooper with Rob Kwinter, and Blair Dimock saddled with Les Klein. Matthew Lella was of course between the uprights.

The pace was established early in the game, as the Original Chiefs' #8 Steinberg managed to break right through the defensive corps in the first 19 seconds and pot a goal past a surprised and undefended Matthew Lella. While this was cause for some concern, the Pirates continued to skate as though they owned the ice, and put some strong pressure on the OCs in their own end. Several shifts had the Chiefs penned into their own corners in a manner that was reminiscent of a power play, except that both teams were at full strength. Nevertheless, the OC goalie, wearing a different team jersey and not looking at all like any Irwin Schein this reporter has ever known, turned away shot after shot. And in a play that was to be repeated again and again throughout the game, less than three minutes into the game, a Pirate shot from the point ended up on the chest of a Chief forward, who broke out into a 3 on 1 and made the score 2-0. It took another strong shift from the Mutch-Mola-Mandell line to finally create a semblance of offense, as a rocket shot from the right circle by El Capitano himself sailed over the OC goalie's shoulder and rippled the mesh for a 2-1 score.

The second period proved, alas, to be the Pirates' downfall. Certainly the breaks were not going their way, as every shot was blocked by a skate, a stick or a body, and the play went end to end in a series of hard-played shifts. To the Chiefs' credit, they played an excellent game that was adapted to their short-manned situation. They always had two or three men back, and yet managed to always have three men on the rush. Their passes were perfect, and they connected equally well with their stronger and weaker skaters. They skated as though they really wanted that puck (as some coaches who try to motivate younger players are wont to say, "as though the puck was the last hamburger on earth!"). And their goalie (who was either a rent-a-goalie or a wonderful new addition to their roster) kept them in the game with stellar play, always seeming to be aware of where the puck was and where it was heading.

However, to the Pirates' discredit, the shifts started getting longer and longer, rather than shorter, which did not allow fresh legs to get on the ice quickly enough to tax the short-benched Chiefs. Instead, they stayed on and got tired and ultimately got caught time and time again unable to follow the play and provide the necessary forechecking to support the defensive end. The tiredness also manifested itself in an inability to win the races to the puck, in a lack of crispness in the clearing passes and finally in some frustration resulting in unnecessary penalties (including two to the Captain himself). And indeed, the next goal was scored by the Chiefs on a power play with 4:46 minutes left in the second period, which was followed quickly by another goal with 2:00 minutes left. By this time, with the score 4-1, the reality of the situation had made itself felt on the Pirate bench, and it was clear that the best they could hope for was to salvage a vestige of honour out of the game.

This they managed to do to an extent, keeping the Chiefs off the boards in the third period until there were just 33 seconds, when a stunningly poor defensive effort by Klein let the Chiefs tic-tac-toe the puck to the open man in front of the net for a final tally of 5-1. So the Pirates proved that they were eminently vincible, and that their rightful place is right here in the TNHC Monday Dry Division.

But let's not lose sight of the fact that this is just week 4 of the season. There are three more teams to play in the preseason, and then they may have to deal with the reality of a possible reshuffle by TNHC. For now, their task is straightforward - get back to Pirate Brand Hockey®, and quick! Do not expect to win every game of the season, and try to look like a team out there! One very good way to reinforce that world view is to come out to the Wednesday Night Pirate Skate™, now in full swing, 10:30 at Fenside Arena. It is on the Wednesday Night ice that the spirit of teamsmanship is forged. So get out there and skate!

Next Monday night, the Pirates take on their old foes, the Condors, and the challenge for the boys in black and yellow will be to keep their eyes off the record books and on the puck. The Condors are no pushovers and they too will be out to prove that the Pirates are far from immortal. Let's not help them to reach their goal, people. Be there and see how it turns out. Find out for yourself: Will the Pirates be having cake or humble pie again in Howie's next week?

GO PIRATES!!! VIVA LOS PIRATAS!!!

Howie