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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

Short-Handed Condors Battle Pirates; Pirates Embrace Behavior Modification Therapy
2005-12-12: Mighty Pirates 5 vs. Condors 0

The Mighty Pirates took to the ice last Monday night with no illusions as to the task before them. Having finally broken their seven-game winless streak the previous week with a squeaker of a victory against the always-tough Original Chiefs, the prospect of playing the Condors should have felt like a relief, given the Big Birds' cellar position in the TNHC Monday Dry Division and the Pirates' historic dominance over the team. However, the quality of the Pirates' play throughout the streak and their propensity to get themselves locked in the penalty box at inopportune times meant that nothing was for sure, no game was a lock, no lead was safe - all bets were off. Add to this the fact that the Condors are the least penalized team in the division and the Pirates the most penalized, any observer could see that the MPs would have to be on their best behavior if the refs were to keep them out of the sin bin, and in fact if they were to have a chance to play anything like the legendary Pirate Brand Hockey® which their fans so desperately want to see revived.

Coupled with the fact that Paul Matusek and Matthew Lella were both felled by injuries (PM with his back and ML with his ribs), Blair Dimock was once again scratched due to parental responsibilities, and Mark Sager had decided to put skiing on a higher pedestal than hockey, Captain Mola had his work cut out for him setting his lines. Tim the Super-Sturgeon had been pressed into service to stand tall between the pipes, and twelve skaters meant that there would be two centres, three pairs of wingers and two defensive pairs. Shaking up the lines in dramatic fashion, Vito named Mark Cooper and John Mutch as the centres; Shaun Leggett and Rob Kwinter, Dave Turner and Richard Bingham, and Nick Perri and Auby Mandell the wingers; and Jonathan Gallivan and Les Klein, and Vito Mola and Jim Jezioranski the defensive pairs.

As soon as the Zamboni was off the ice, the crowd could see that something was amiss with the Condors - they had managed to muster only seven skaters to support their goalie. It would be a long game for them, requiring strategic play, lots of lungs and strong legs! As play began, the shape of the game also did not take long to form. The Condors played their hearts out, playing smart defensive hockey, focusing on parrying the Pirate attacks and looking for lapses in the Pirates' defensive play to take to the attack. As a result, the Condor goalie was peppered with shots throughout the game, and in fact put on a brilliant display of goalie prowess, keeping the Pirates out of the twine in numerous great scoring chances. Estimates of the total number of shots he faced in the game ranged up towards 70!

The beginning of the first period was a heady one for the Pirates, as John Mutch teamed up with line mates Shaun Leggett and Rob Kwinter to score the first goal just 38 seconds into the game. The Condors roared back early, taking advantage of an out-of-position Klein to go into the Pirate zone with a man advantage, but the Super-Sturgeon turned away the attack, and gave the Pirates new life. Then, with 6:06 left on the clock, John Mutch took the puck himself from end to end and gave the Pirates a 2-0 lead at the end of the first frame. A joyful part of this period was that there were no Pirates in the penalty box throughout.

In the second period, the game was pretty much a mirror of the first, in that the Pirates were often on the attack, but turned away time and time again by the theatrical display of the Condor goalie. It was not until the period was almost over that John Mutch made it a natural hat trick when Klein cleared the puck from a face-off in the Pirate zone to a streaking Gallivan, who in turn head manned the puck to Mutch who made it count - score: Pirates 3, Condors 0.

But then the penalties began, with Rob Kwinter being called for tripping (the light fantastic?) just as the second period ended and Auby Mandell got four minutes for body contact on an accidental collision in which he ended up as the man standing and was called for the infraction. Facing a short-handed situation, the Pirates went into defensive mode, and yet managed to push the puck into the Condors end, who by this time were showing lots of grit but also an expected level of exhaustion. Dave Turner took the puck into the circle and after taking his own rebound, dished it over the Richard Bingham who, standing on the undefended side of the goal, put it away. Three minutes later, with Auby still in the box, Jim Jezioranski took the puck end-to-end and scored a second short-handed goal to make the score 5-0. Thereafter, the Pirates focused on preserving the shut-out for Tim Sturgeon, which they managed to do, though some defensive errors could have cost them. But excellent back-checking by the forwards, and especially the centres, managed to keep the lid on until the clock ran out.

Kudos are due to the Condors, who continue to show that hockey at this level can be played in a gentlemanly manner, and be fun. They also showed incredible grit and determination, playing with a severely depleted bench. They managed to still find the strength to make the charges when they could, and to challenge the Pirates to elevate their game. In this case, however, with the odds against them, they could also have resorted to unpleasantries, but did not and made it an enjoyable game for all.

The question facing the Pirates is whether they learned anything from the game. Certainly in a division race as tight as the Monday Dry Division, a "W" is a "W," and no one will complain about that. But this coming Monday, the last game before the holiday break, has the Ice Cats on tap for the boys in the gold and ebony. This is a fast, young, strong and capable team which does not resort to nasty tactics to beat their opponents. The Pirates will have to resurrect Pirate Brand Hockey® and raise it to a new level to play even with these guys. The puck drops at 9:00 p.m. on RINX 3 - be there for some serious action.

The Wednesday Night Pirate Skate™ continues this Wednesday as well, and then takes a week off for the holidays. After the new year, Pirate management will be evaluating the economic viability of this on-going venture. There are some feelings that it cannot be sustained without the active, regular and reliable participation of more of the Mighty Pirates, Former Pirates, Old Pirates, Offspring of Pirates and Friends of Pirates. If you want this to continue, show it by coming out!

Howie