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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

Howie Report, 13 December 2005
2004-12-13: Mighty Pirates 5 at Steelheads 0

Initials and short-forms dominated the post-game beer-and-wings conference last Monday night, as the Mighty Pirates cruised to their first really easy win since being moved down to the TNHC Monday Night Coors Light Division, easily besting the 7th place Steelheads 5-0. Potential headlines abounded as baskets of fries, piles of wings, slices of pizza and jugs of beer were downed with abandon.

• Lella notches another O!
• Jezioranski notches his first A of the season!
• Mutch notches his record-tying 97th!
• Kitchen notches his first 3-point game!
• Bingham notches his first career GWG!
• Gallivan and Perri each notch a G and an A!
• Leggett and Mandell each notch an A!
• Kwinter, Turner and Klein stand tall!
• Captain Mola notches a V!

The game had an inauspicious start, given the large number of last-minute scratches, late arrivals and slow dressers, and two referees who had places to go, people to see and no time for dilly-dallying. The game was scheduled for 9:10 and the puck dropped virtually the moment the Zamboni gate closed! With nary an icing call, and almost no penalties (the Pirates continued to stay clear of the sin bin, and the Steelheads were called for two short penalties, made even shorter by a power play goal scored in the second by the Pirates), the game ran 32 minutes on the game clock and only 41 minutes in total from start to finish, which may stand as a TNHC record for rushing!

Captain Vito Mola, never one to avoid his responsibilities, showed up to captain the game but nevertheless benched himself for personal reasons (see headlines above). With Mark Sager ill with the flu, Blair Dimock at home minding the kidlets (hey, Blair, thanks for the cute pics!) and Jim Butler still nursing his cracked ribs, the Pirate bench was severely depleted. El Capitano went with two centers, John Mutch and Jonathan Gallivan, two right wingers, Jim Jezioranski and Nick Perri, and three left wingers, Dave Turner, Auby Mandell and Shaun Leggett (enjoying his first game back after four weeks!). Defence was covered by Rob Kwinter and Richard Bingham, and Todd Kitchen and Les Klein.

The Steelheads were rumoured to be a team on the way up, but it was clear from the start that something was amiss. They never really mounted an attack, and they struggled in their own end. The Pirates pretty much owned the game, as they won the races to the loose puck, cleared their end with crisp passing, set up the attack with beautiful positioning and kept up the pressure for all 32 minutes. It was not until after the game was over that the Pirates discovered that the Steelheads' sharpshooter, J.C. Simon, one of the division's top scorers, was not on the roster. Nevertheless, it was a good, clean game and it was good practice for the Pirates to play Wednesday Night Pirate Hockey™ on Monday night.

Despite the fact that it took about half of the first period before your heroes finally had their lines going, due to the late arrivals and the very-much-in-a-hurry referees, the Pirates dominated play. It was only a matter of time before they would score. And only 2:38 had ticked off the clock when Kitchen sent Gallivan in on a breakaway, who hit the cross-bar and post with his shot. The rebound came WAY out to the eagle-eyed Richard Bingham, who slammed it in above the sprawling goalie for his first career game winning goal, and his second straight game with a goal.

Play continued at a good pace, with the Pirates continuing to dominate the play and control the puck for much of the time. Then late in the second period, the boys in black got to work. With 3:42 left on the clock and one of their number cooling his heels in the penalty box, the Steelheads tried to clear the puck on the penalty kill. Kitchen intercepted at the blue line, calmly waited for the zone to clear, then took off like a train down the left side, and laser-guided a shot to the opposite upper corner of the net. It was truly a thing of ... Beauty! Not to be outdone, with Jim Jezioranski and Shaun Leggett crowding the net, Gallivan was able to swing around from behind and lift a backhander that snuck its way through all the bodies with just 51 seconds to go. But they were not done yet! On a final breakout play in the period, Nick Perri and Auby Mandell worked the puck out of the zone up to a streaking Johnny Mutch. Seeing room on the left side, he completely stunned the goalie. The shot was so good that the goalie didn't even have time to move and in it went with 21 seconds on the cuckoo clock! That goal tied John Mutch with the legendary Mike Stein for all-time career points by a Mighty Pirate.

And then in the third period, just a minute and a half in, Todd Kitchen again pinched deep into the zone and finally found himself directly behind the net. He lifted a lazy pass over three sticks to the tape of a cool and calm Nick Perri parked in the slot directly in front of the goalie. Nick just waited.... And waited.... And waited.... And finally, when the goalie was sprawled on the ice in total exasperation, lifted the puck to the left side of the keep and put it away for a five goal lead.

Now the Pirates have been in the Steelheads' shoes many, many times in this up and down season, so one would not have been surprised to see them really put the pedal to the metal in the third and pile up the goals ala the Molson Dry Division. But no, ever the gentlemen, the Pirates played good solid quiet hockey, controlling the puck but not showing off. Indeed, it was the type of sportsmanship that one can only expect from a first class team – and one that has been at the receiving end of such industrial league style play too often to forget!

All in all, it was a game to savour, but not one to hang one's laurels on. As the press corps continues to note, the Pirates have yet to meet the top two teams in the Division, both of whom have come to recognize the Pirates as the team to beat if they are going to stay on top – and these guys intend to stay on top. So "focus" (or maybe "shoot, shoot, shoot") will continue to be the mantra, as the Pirates take next Monday night off, and then face a grueling three game stretch in eight days between December 27 and January 3, with a vacation and holiday-depleted bench. The next game features the Loch Monsters against your heroes on Monday, December 27 at 9:10 in RINX 2. Seasoned fans will remember that the Loch Monsters were also in the Molson Dry Division at the beginning of the season, and tied the boys 2-2 way back on the 20th of September. So it does not get any easier. On top of that, the Wednesday Night Pirate Skate™ is also on a holiday hiatus, scheduled to return in full force on Wednesday, January 5.

Last Monday night was also Pirate New Car Night. You might have expected that he was awarded it by Pirate management for his stellar play so far this season, but the brand new 4WD Volvo that goalkeeper Matthew Lella drove to the game was his own. Observers noted that he was blasting the Eagles Greatest Hits as he drove into the parking lot. We think he likes his new car, and likes it a lot! And Richard Bingham was also piloting new wheels, a sporty number from Hyundai, we believe.

In any case, your intrepid reporter is off on a jolly jaunt half-way around the globe to somewhat warmer climes and an ill-deserved vacation for two weeks, and will be relying on the other budding reporters on the Howie Report roster to bring you the spills and thrills of the next three games. No doubt they will do the exploits of the Mighty Pirates proud and make all of us feel that we are in the stands ourselves.

In the meantime, best wishes of the season to players and fans alike, and as always,

GO PIRATES!!! VIVA LOS PIRATAS!!!

Howie