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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

The Howie-Les Report
2006-10-23: Mighty Pirates 3 at Suicide Wings 0

On October 16th the Mighty Pirates retreated to their dressing room on the short end of a 3-0 loss to the Cobras with their heads held high and their pride intact and only minor grumbles about the uncounted goal scored by Johnny Mutch. It didn't really matter so much as did the uncorking of Pirates' Brand Hockey©. The Pirates played three solid periods and came on strong in the third after controlling much of the play for the entire game but they could not get a single bounce to go their way on the atrociously pitted and pocked ice surface of Rinx 3. It was the team's fourth consecutive loss but it did not feel nearly as bad as the first three. It seemed that the Pirates could still play hockey.

Cue last night's return to Rinx 3 against the Suicide Wings, a team the Pirates last blew a three goal lead to in settling for a 3-3 tie. Cue the return to action of stalwart net minder Matthew Lella after a four week absence from between the pipes. The Mighty Pirates gathered in dressing room one (perhaps now the all-time most disgusting dressing room in the Rinx complex which is saying a whole helluva lot) where Captain Mola divided his twelve skaters into units: D1 Paul Matusek and Chris Besant; D2 Evan Mintz and Vito Mola; C1 Jonathan Gallivan; C2 Johnny Mutch; W1 Dave Turner and Shaun Leggett; W2 Auby Mandell and Allan Phillips; and W3 Tim Sturgeon and Nick Perri. The team took to the ice only to find the surface as dangerously marred as the previous week but at least the facility was well chilled and what small surfaces of ice were intact were also hard but it was going to be like playing ball hockey on gravel. In fact, the puck bounced all night like a tennis ball, but never quite so critically as when Gallivan leapt into the slot all alone as the puck was centered by Leggett from behind the net only to have a perfectly smooth pass suddenly jump over his stick. And that was just the worst of the many strange puck hops of the night.

The puck dropped and the tilt began and what a tilt it was. The Pirates went 0-1-2 with 13 GF and 16 GA versus the Wings last year. The Suicide Wings boast a high profile sniper in Rob St. Germain but it's a serious mistake to be distracted by his goal scoring efficiency. The team boasts a compliment of skilled players, is strong on the face-off, and last night #14, Terry Mullally, was their most dangerous attacker. But no one had corked that bottle of Pirates' Brand Hockey© and the jam in the defence corps' game and the grit and determination in the forwards' drive and back checking were all on full display as the Pirates took the game to the Wings. And yet, still, in spite of the exemplary play of the Pirates as a team, the Wings are not an opponent that the Pirates can ultimately control and, if not for Matthew Lella, things might have turned out differently.

This reporter isn't casual when it comes to evaluating the Mighty Pirates. Too much purple prose is likely to fuel false confidence and frankly I like it too much when the team wins to damn it with undeserved praise as a matter of form. I can find fault in almost every win and any performance. Last night the defence corps allowed too many turnovers in the Pirates' end. Instead of keeping things simple and getting the puck out, up the boards or the middle when it was often open, they opted to try spinning away from the Wings' fore-check or skating around it. They had about a 50% success rate. Maybe 55%. This is unacceptable and could have cost the team the game. In spite of the score, it was that close.

The defence corps was also guilty of hogging the puck on rushes. By hogging I mean lugging the puck from the position of last man back instead of head manning the puck to a forward who had to stop at the blue line and wait for the severely out-of-position puck carrier to finally — wanna cup of coffee? — reach the blue line. Of course, by the time this happens, the Wings have congregated five strong and the puck carrier is stripped of the puck and the play comes to naught. Head man the puck! Forwards, be ready for the give and go when the defence rushes!

The forwards were grossly guilty of leaving the Wings' point men throughout the game, collapsing into the corners or the middle of the ice and missing a number of opportunities to clear the puck from the zone. There were squandered scoring opportunities through hesitation including Leggett's breakaway. Head up! Two players who shall not be named were guilty of quitting on the play to appeal non-called offsides to the refs while the Wings mounted the pressure inside the Pirates zones. Since when at any time in the history of hockey has the smart play been to take yourself out of the game to solicit help from the kindly referees? You wanna yap at the referee, wait for the whistle! Better yet, keep your mouth shut and play harder!

Ah, there is nothing like a good rant even when it is only half deserved. After all, the D set up all three of the team's goals and got the job done in their own end. The team killed two power plays and scored at even strength, on the PP, and added an important empty netter under fierce 6 on 5 pressure. The Mighty Pirates played a good game in which the Wings never gave an inch that the Pirates didn't take with sweat and effort and then it was only an inch. But Matthew Lella played an awesome game. More than that, he played an inspired game. One for the ages. There was a resounding crossbar and a ringing post, but you gotta know that was all Lella gave the shooter. There was a sprawling kick of the right pad while supine to attempt to take away the bottom of the net as #14 dipsy doodled through the Pirates and tried to stuff it in the far side, only to loose control going around Lella's leg. There was shot after shot into the upright keep, always square to the play, and always a well controlled rebound directed into the corner or dropped right at his feet to be swept up by his defence or dropped on and smothered. And then the highlight of the night, and then the instant replay nightlight of the night when he did it all over again, there were the two breakaways Lella matched move for shifty move until squeezing the pads together he had stoned the Wings' shooters in spectacular fashion. First star: Matthew Lella. Second star: Matthew Lella. Third star: Lella's posts.

Yes folks, Pirates' Brand Hockey© is alive and well and being played on the treacherous ice surface of Rinx 3. Watch out!