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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

A Big, Stinking Rotten Egg of a Performance
2008-11-03: Mighty Pirates 0 vs. Aeros 6

Tenement doors swing open into dingy halls filled with the dirt and leaves that have blown in to mix with the garbage left over from vending machine fare and other sources. The dressing rooms serving Rinx 2 are generally cold but not cold enough to dampen the smell of urine from the leaking urinals, or the acrid tinge of something that either died or was regurgitated. And once you get past all this, there is the soft ice full of puddles to play on.

Rinx is a fine establishment and a fitting place last night for the Mighty Pirates to have laid a big, stinking rotten egg of a performance.

Things obviously were not right from the start in the dressing room with the horrible stench, but it got a lot worse when Mutch discovered he had forgotten his helment and could not find a replacement. Leggett was moved to center and, dizzy from the dressing room fumes, and confused from the last minute shuffling of positions, the Mighty Pirates took to the ice.

It's doubtful the Aero's had a better dressing room, and they were skating on the same crappy ice, but I suspect they may have a team supply of Glade plugins because they came out fresh, fast and furious, with strong pivots, driving wingers and a stifling defense. The Mighty Pirates did not know what hit them and full credit should be given the Aeros who clearly took advantage of that, using set plays and smart passing to penetrate the Pirate zone repeatedly.

Stellar goaltending from Matthew Lella and desperate defense kept a severe beating at the hands of the Aeros from becoming an embarrassing dismantling. That is assuming 6-0 qualifies as the former and is not the latter, but you decide.

Off balance and unable to recover, the Mighty Pirates managed to double their season's penalty minutes and then some. Fourteen minutes of shorthanded play ensured that a team whose hallmark in recent years has been in-game adjustment was completely unable to recover and find its balance. Tassone was ejected in the second, allowing Mutch to borrow his helmet and play the latter half of the game. But the Aeros never let the Pirates get very close to the Aero goalie who easily handled the few shots the Pirates launched, usually from well out.

This is one the Mighty Pirates need to forget about while the Aeros should deservedly savour it for some time.

And did I mention that the entire Rinx complex has really become a *&^% hole?

This has been a special report from the Howie-Les Commission