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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

Mighty Pirates Put Icing on Undefeated First Half!
2010-12-27: Mighty Pirates 5 at Smell The Glove 0

The Mighty Pirates (9-0-4) continue to impress the Gilmour Division of TNHC's Monday Night Toronto hockey world, as they shatter record after record. In fact, they have so impressed the powers that be that they have been notified that they are to be upwardly relegated to the Ellis Division for the start of 2011. As such, they have been immediately vaulted into first place, and are now the team to beat in the second half. The Pirates argued vociferously and convincingly that the move was not necessary, since the division was well-balanced up and down the ranks, but to no avail. However, the Pirates are — after all — Pirates, and they will suck it up and play out the season, once again giving it their all. Most importantly, they will stick to Pirate Brand Hockey® — and give that legendary strategy perhaps its greatest challenge in 18 star-studded years.

With that background, the Pirates pulled out all the stops going into their final game of 2010 against Smell the Glove, a team against whom they had played two tough and hard-fought games resulting in a tie and a W for the good guys (1-1 and 3-0), and who have been stalwart and worthy opponents. Knowing what they knew, the Pirates made sure that they would have a healthy turnout for a game that would require stamina and focus. In fact, twelve regulars and one sub appeared in the RINX 3 locker room. Alas, Smell the Glove was not so lucky — they started the game with one man on the bench and ended up with a total of two subs. So the odds already favoured the Mighty Pirates at the first puck drop, but STG made sure that the Bucs knew it would not be a cake walk. When at the final buzzer the scoreboard showed a 5-0 win for your heroes, it was a conclusion with a great deal of satisfaction, knowing that it remained a calm, clean, penalty-free game from start to finish — the second game in a row for the Pirates where no one wearing the goldenrod and ebony paid a visit to the sin bin.

But we get ahead of ourselves! Captain Mola had a good hand dealt to him that Monday evening, with the Sturgeon-ator in net; Sousa and Mutch playing center; Turner, Sager and L. Klein playing left wing; Hine, Jezioranski and the Captain on right wing; and J. Klein, Besant, Tassone and Siddons on defence. With the Pirates playing strong defence but without the Grind Line, scoring definitely took a back seat to clearing the puck. In the end, the scoring was spread around, with JJ potting two goals, and Captain Mola, J. Klein and Sousa each notching another. In the assist column, DT and Doc Sager each picked up two, as did Mutch (edging ever closer to the century mark in that category at 99), with three other singleton assists scattered among the rest of the team (you will have to wait until Gallivan posts the game sheet to find out who — my memory is just not that good!).

Speaking of records — and as a direct reference to the headline — veteran Pirates were also convinced that Monday night's game shattered all previous records in the number of icing calls in the game, with the total certainly reaching double digits. Knowing that most TNHC refs are reluctant to call icing at all, both because it slows down the game and because it means that they have to skate down the ice, pick up the puck and take it back down to the other end of the ice, both teams were caught by surprise. L. Klein in particular complained bitterly that he is just too old and tired to skate up and down the ice that many times in vain! However, Monday's refs seemed to be committed to the letter and the spirit of the law, and in fact, maybe crossed the line in their enthusiasm. One call in particular, where Jezioranski just missed a beautiful clearing pass from the defence which would have put him into a perfect breakaway position, caught the attention of everyone on the bench. When Jimmy J. questioned the ref, he said, "If we hadn't called it, there would have been no one else down there except you!" Hey, isn't that the way breakaways are supposed to work?

Anyway, a great team effort and cool, calm heads put a perfect cap on a magical first half. We now move into 2011, with eager Pirate fans waiting with bated breath to see how their heroes will fare against the likes of the Drunken Monkeys, Steelheads, Aeros, Komets 2.0 and Tigers. Some are known quantities, some totally unknown and some may sound familiar but are in fact brand new. This reporter can't wait! However, like him, you will also have to wait, since the Pirates start out January with a bye on the 3rd, and face the Steelheads (6-4-3) on RINX 1 at 8:20 pm on January 10. That is one game you will not want to miss!

GO PIRATES!!! VIVEN LOS PIRATAS!!!

Howie