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After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

Rip Van Howie Awakes!!!
2014-01-15: Mighty Pirates 9 at Haymakers 2

Wow, what happened? It feels like it has been YEARS since this reporter sat down at a post-game Howie conference at Rinx to review another heroic win (or was it a loss?) — and then NOTHING! A blank! A coma! Was it the beer? Was it the wings? Was it the NACHOS?

So much has changed, it is hard to comprehend! The Mighty Pirates have spanking new white old-school jerseys — the dream of the third jersey has come true! The Mighty Pirates are struggling to stay alive in the Gilmour Division, the lowest that Monday Night TNHC has to offer — have they slowed down or has everyone else sped up? There are now four KoPs (Kids of Pirates — J. Sager, T. Turner, J. Klein and S. Klein) on the roster — when did these guys grow up? The Pirates are playing a game at a renovated Maple Leaf Gardens — that is even better than Ricoh and a huge step up from Rinx! And Jonathan Gallivan, once "the kid" on the Pirates, played his 300th game just two weeks shy of his 42nd birthday. All in all, a brave, new and dizzying world for Howie, indeed!

Walking around the spanking clean locker room (nary a Rinx "special effect" anywhere to be seen!), seeing the team gather for this game in this historic venue, talking with the players one at a time, so much more has changed. Imagine learning that this storied team had never won a game when playing a MLG! Imagine that Vito Mola is still the Captain! Imagine that even though the game is to be played at arguably the best venue available for hockey in the city, the Pirates can only muster 13 skaters and the Haymakers only 9!

What a changed world...

Captain Mola (now tattooed and bearded) created themed lines for this very special game — the Klein Line (S. and J.) and the ST Line (Sousa and T. Turner) on defence; the venerable 3M Line (Mutch, Mandell, Mola — at least they are still around!), the 3J Line (Jim J., Jonathan G. and Jeff S.) and the Dave Line (Rosenberg and Turner) + Phillips on forward. What amazing planning — Mandell sporting his svelte new physique, Mutch sporting his newly shorn locks, Sturgeon coming back early from his business conference to stand between the pipes when (surprise!) Lella revealed that he would not be available, Rosenberg fresh from his youngest son's Bar Mitzvah, and the rest of the Pirates ready to take the ice to overcome the "MLG curse" against a team that had taken them to the woodshed 6-3 in their last meeting.

The moment the puck was dropped, the Pirates showed that they had come to play. J. Sager took the puck from the faceoff and put the bun in the oven unassisted with 8:35 left on the clock. Less than two minutes later, Phillips shot the puck up to D. Turner at the blue line, who grabbed control of the puck and put it on Rosenberg's streaking stick to make the score 2-0. Then with 4:18 — still in the first period — Captain Mola intercepted an attempt by the Haymakers' goalie to clear the puck out of their end, and made him pay for the mistake, and then less than a minute later, Mandell took the puck in the corner behind the opponents' net, passed it to Mola, whose shot ricocheted to Sousa at the blue line — and Mike's slap shot did not miss. But wait, there's more! With 2:14 left in the first period, J. Sager took the puck down the ice, with Gallivan paralleling him all the way. At the last minute, a perfect pass across the ice and the man playing in his 300th game tallied his first point of the night. The first period ended with the Pirates in firm control 5-0, with the Pirates using their long bench effectively against the out-of-breath Haymakers. At that point, D. Turner instructed the team to avoid further celebrations on the bench, quipping, "Don't forget, we have been those guys..."

The Pirates continued their domination in the second period, though in a more controlled manner. Nevertheless, with 8:21 on the clock, J. Sager intercepted another clearing pass in front of the net, and the tic-tac-toe passes to Gallivan and then to Jezioranski resulted in another goal. Four minutes in, the Haymakers' Westbrook took the puck end-to-end and woke up a very relaxed Sturgeon with a goal! With that, the Pirates redoubled their efforts, but despite scrambles in front of the Haymakers' net with 3:50 and again with 2:54 left on the clock, no goals resulted. Then, with 2:31 showing, Gallivan picked up yet another weak clearing attempt, who passed it to J. Klein, whose shot on goal resulted in a rebound which was converted by J. "on-the-spot" Sager. Then 50 seconds later, with the period winding down, Mandell scored again on another beautiful give and go from Mola and Gallivan.

Skating into the third period with an 8-1 lead, the Pirates scored again, with Gallivan feeding J. Sager yet again just 32 seconds in. After that, they really focused on passing and skating instead of scoring, and that strategy successfully kept control of the game while not insulting the Haymakers. Both teams demonstrated a high level of sportsmanship and kept their cool despite the unevenness of the score. With 7:21 on the clock, the Haymakers scored again, and then defence was the order of the day. The final score was 9-2, and the curse was broken. More importantly, the Pirates played completely penalty-fee for the full 32 minutes, to the delight of the five fans in the stands. One of them was your correspondent, along with a couple who had attended a community meeting with yours truly before the game, and who had the best time of their lives watching the Pirates triumph. Other random fans were to be seen in the seats intermittently, and they were also clearly enthralled for seconds at a time.

All in all — what a game! It reminded me of old fashioned Pirate Brand Hockey® back in the days before I passed out for like forever. I hope future Pirate games will have the same punch as this one — it will certainly be one for the history books. What a changed world — all I can say is that I sure am glad to be back!

Howie