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News Deck - The Howie Report

After extensive contract negotiations, the Mighty Pirates organization is extremely pleased to welcome back Howie for another season of insightful, amusing, and extremely addictive commentary! Yes, Howie tells it like it is!

You'll find links to each and every Howie Report right here after each game.

Rosie's Capsule Game Summary
2018-10-29: Mighty Pirates 7 at Broke N Bad 1

Game Sheet

News Deck - The Howie Report
  • Andrew Budish is first to arrive at arena. 3 hours, 20 minutes before game time, according to witnesses.
  • Some early confusion with Broke N Bad (2-4-0) over uniform colour selection.
  • They tell us to go white. Then they come out in white. A portent of confusion and chaos on their part.
  • Game starts. Our first shot goes in. Our second shot goes in. Our third shot goes in.
  • Their goalie (although a large man) looks like he might be playing a different sport.
  • Before the game is 6 minutes old, we are up 4-1.
  • Suddenly everything changes.
  • The Broke N Bad goaltender suddenly becomes a reasonable facsimile of Gump Worsley.
  • But taller. Skinnier. Much less Caucasian.
  • Your heroes continue to skate hard. Check hard. Gasp for breath ... hard.
  • On the bench, we all imagine we are Doc M. Sager, supine on the beach in Cartagena - umbrella cocktail in our left hand, cocaine residue on our chest? We score 3 more.
  • Passes are short. Crisp.
  • Shifts are short. Defense rises above theory to become practice. Pirate Brand Hockey®™ is in evidence.
  • Game ends.
  • Lella (a standout all night long) wins silver balls of glory. Team repairs to local Kelsey’s.
  • 2 pitchers are ordered. Then a third.
  • Lella regales us with a recent business-trip story of robust Texas woman in velvet jumpsuit with plunging neckline, inebriated in bar.
  • Details suddenly become scarce. Story ends prematurely.

True North Hockey CanadaGood Guys, Great Game!